Kevin sends along this evidence that although we might do crazy things like force a woman to bear her rapist’s child, every country has their own weird laws.

Rapists won a resounding victory in the South Dakota State Legislature today. Thanks to the efforts of South Dakotan politicians, sexual predators across the state can be grateful that they now have the right to become fathers at the expense and burden of their victims. Beginning July 1, their victims will be forced to carry their children. They will also find it satisfying to know that in addition to the overwhelming trauma they have already incurred, their prey will be obligated to nine months of pain, discomfort, and body distortion. This period will end with several hours to days of extreme pain, after which the lucky perpetrators can enjoy fatherhood (and even grandfatherhood). Those who don’t wish to become mothers are advised to not get raped in South Dakota.

It’s nice to see your own name in print, no matter how it gets there. It’s even nicer to see Amy #2 getting some ink. Does it count as ink if it’s online?

I’m guessing the head honchos at Gillette don’t read The Onion. Too funny.

Sadly, our neighborhood mascot Arnold died recently. Crime fighting pork! Yee-haw! Perhaps cops should take it as a compliment when we yell ‘Pig’ at them? At least in Stevens Square! What will we do now without our beloved protector? And why was there no BBQ? I want my baby back, baby back, baby back…

Hundreds of cats, living and dead, are even less yummy. At least I’m off to a tasty lunch at Taste of India!

I love science! Thanks to these brilliant people it looks like I just turned 21! Woo-hoo! I’m legal! Bring on the kamikazes!

This should be federalized.

Google diversifies in to the energy drink craze. The latest iPod accessory improves your favorite gadget’s social life.

I was saddened yesterday to learn that my favorite stand-up comedian, Mitch Heberg had died on Wednesday. This is a real tragedy. I’m grateful that I was lucky enough to see him perform a few times. Mitch’s sense of humor was truly bizarre, and it was largely his nervous, stoner, staring-at-the-floor delivery that made his act so hilarious. One of my favorite Mitch one-liners is “I wish I could play little league now… I’d kick some fucking ass!” Another: “I bought an ant farm… those guys didn’t grow shit! C’mon guys, how ’bout some carrots.” I’ll really miss him.

This news came out yesterday, so I’m guessing this isn’t some sort of demented April Fool’s joke. Mitch wasn’t the publicity stunt type.